I will always come back to you!

Hello,
I feel bad that I have been away for so long. There are reasons why that I will share with you another time. But today I am here to share with you something amazing. I just had my son's pictures done by an amazing photographer, Rachel Capil. She was so good with Ben, my mother and me. She was able to get so many amazing pictures. So check out some of my favorite pictures. If you want to see some of her other work or you are interested in contacting her go to www.rachelcapil.com.

A Fun Day With the Kids

So I have been on Vacation for the last two weeks and to be honest I have really enjoyed both
vacations. I spent a week with my family down in Newport Beach and then I was home for 4 days and I left for Vegas for 5 days with the girls. I came home to absolute chaos, but things are calming down now. Last night we spent the night at the Raf/New house and then today we went to Nana Z's office picnic with everyone. Ben had a blast playing with his friends and getting his face painted. Now we are heading off to cheer on Team Believe at the Relay for Life in Martinez. My god mother is fighting ovarian cancer and our close friend Linda's brother in law is fight pancreatic cancer. I am going to ask that everyone pray for them and all the cancer fighter/survivors. It doesn't matter what higher power you believe in just offer up a pray this weekend. GO TEAM BELIEVE!!!!



Here are some pictures of the picnic today for your enjoyment!!!!!

Kittens for Adoption

I have two kittens that I rescued. I can't keep them but I have had them for the last month and and getting ready to leave on vacation. I need to find someone who wants to love these sweet little girls. Please let me know if you or anyone you know would like to take these sweet kitties home with you.

Happy 4th Of July

Here are some photos of family and friends on the 4th of July!

A Time To Cry....

So in the last month death has been heavy on my mind. Our church community lost a wonderful man on father's day weekend. I cried all day Friday....for him, his family, his wife, his friends, and our whole community. Walt has been fighting cancer for the last 10 years and no one did it better than him. I planned the reception after the funeral so I didn't get to go as my husband and I were busy setting up for the 400 people that attended his funeral. I am saddened that I didn't get to go to the funeral but at the same time I went to the vigil the night before and that was hard for me. The hard part wasn't that I lost Walt cause I knew him and loved him and his wife but there were many more who would feel the loss more fully. The hard part for me was watching the grandkids. I was raised by my single mother with help from her parents. I was close to my mother and my grandmother but I was closest to my grandfather. He died the day after my 22nd birthday. For those of you who know me you know what a difficult time for me that was. I was 22 and I was without the man who raised me. The person that I depended on most in my life. He had seen me through so much but yet I still needed him to see me through more. I looked at Walt's grandkids and non of them were older the 10 and all I could think of is that they would miss out on one of the best relationships in the world. Now I know that my relationship with my grandpa was different than most but I also know that Walt was one of the best. Losing Walt was hardest for me because I went through some of the grief of losing my Grandpa again. I miss him so much that even after all these years....7 to be exact...I still think of him everyday. I still pick-up the phone to call him anytime I am big. I keep his picture in my wallet and my office and tell everyone that see them what a wonderful man he was. I cry for him a lot. I sometimes feel lost and abandoned when things are going wrong cause I can't talk to him or have him hug me. Recently I lost a pregnancy and all I wanted to do was go to his house and hide from the world while he took care of me. I wanted him to tell me it would be alright. But he is gone and I won't hear his voice to calm me or give me advice. Losing a parent is hard. I always thought I was lucky...I had my Mother and my grandparents. That was like having three parents and the three of them are the reason I am the person I am today...both the good and the bad. The downside to having three parents (two of which are your grandparents) is that it is a loss that you feel sooner than most and 3 times. I lost my grandmother at the age of 18. I was prepared as we knew she was sick but it hurt and I felt a pain that was heartbreaking and only helped by my mother and grandpa. When he was gone it was sudden and I literally felt like my world was caving in and I didn't know what to do. I wanted my grandma and grandpa but they had left me. My mother and I are closer than most. My fear is that once she is gone I will have a hole inside of me that will never heal. I pray that day never comes.

I hope that all the people in my life know how much I love them and I fear that they don't. But I just keep trying to show them. My grandparents showed me everyday how much they loved me and they keep showing me. When my son wants to cuddle or gives me a big hug for reason I know that they love inside of him was put there because my grandparents William and June loved their family and the love continues on long after they do.

I LOVE YOU GRANDMA AND GRANDPA!

A Sad Loss

As I was checking in on the blogs I try to keep up to date with I found that JellyJules had lost her mother. She often blogs about her family and I enjoy to read all about it. So I was sadden to hear about her mother. Please take a moment to offer up a thought or prayer t who ever or whatever you believe in for Jules's Mother and all those who loved her.

"A Mother holds her children's hands for a while...their hearts forever"

Once upoon at time....

I had a lot of time to write in my blog, but times have changed and I feel like I am neglecting my blog. Sadly I don't have much time to type today. So I will post a picture and hope that you stick with me till I get through this busy time. I will leave you with this....

OMG OMG!!!!

This week has been an OMG week. Lots of good and bad things happening in the parameters of my life. But just now I opened up an old friends blog and OMG...she is preggers. From what I can gather they weren't trying and the doctors said not a good idea...but I think we all know that GOD is the one in charge and he does what he thinks is right. SO...CONGRATS DESERT ZEN!!!! I love you all the way from Cali! We are fostering e itty bitty kittens (OMG...do I even like cats...don't know???) but I have room in my heart and our family to love these little ones and I don't think that GOD's creatures should be killed cause they are too young to be adopted. Now for the sad...OMG I just found out that one of my former bosses (one I actually liked) was told he has 7 months to live. He is still young and has young children. He is a great man and has been so amazing with his kids who have disabilites. GOD I pray you hold him and all those who love him in your loving embrace and let them know your healing love. AMEN!!! OMG...our puppy got bitten by a rattlesnake. For those of you who know we had a wonderful puppy that we got over a year and a half ago and last July he was bitten by a rattlesnake, subsequently he died (about 2 months later). We then (for my son's birthday) buy him another puppy, Tobi, and she is wonderful and our WHOLE family loves her. She was bitten in May by a rattlesnake...but this time GOD knew that my son probably won't be as strong losing his second puppy so he got her through the ordeal and she is perfectly healthy with no side effects. OMG did we celebrate Ry and Shar's graduation all night until 4 in the MORNING??? Yes we did and we had a blast doing it. Though I have realized I am not 21 one any more. AND the BIGGEST OMG of them all I AM GOING TO BE 29 in a week!!! This will be my last birthday in my twenties. AND the weird thing is I think this is going to effect me more then my 30th birthday. But 29 is the new...I don't actually know what 29 is. They said on Oprah that 50 is the new 25....so does that mean that 29 is the new 4?!?!?!? I can't be 4!!!! My son is 4?!?!?! Well I hope everyone has a good weekend. I have finished my first book on my Herding Cats Challenge. It was a really good book but it struck a strong chord with me so I am not quite ready to review it. I hope to start writing the review this weekend. But I would defiantly recommend Snow Flower and the Secret Fan.

Take care of those you love!!!!

Herding Cats…My First Challenge

So today I start a new adventure in blogging, Challenges. I have become a regular reader of Thinking About… written by Jules. I stumbled upon her blog when doing a google search for the restaurant my husband works at (she had written about it in her blog). So I have been reading her blog and I noticed that she participates in quite a few challenges, so when she wrote about this one, it looked interesting so I decided to join my first challenge.

342,745 Ways to Herd Cats

1. List 10 books you have read and love or at least really really like.

2. Pick 3 books you haven’t read before from the ‘favorite books lists’ of other challenge participants. They have put together a great master list, making it much easier.

3. Read those 3 books, and review them on your blog. The time frame is May - November 2008.

4. Of course, link to the main challenge blog.

So here is my list of 10:

1) Yellow Raft in Blue Water- By Michael A Dorris- This book is an amazing book about the relationship between Mothers, Daughters and Granddaughters.
2) A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier- By Ishmael Beah- I read this book in one night because it was a Christmas gift for someone else and I had to wrap it. I would stay up all night again to read this!
3) Mists of Avalon- By Marion Zimmer Bradley- I was introduces to this wonderful book by my Women’s Lit teacher in college. I have read it again since then.
4) Night- By Eli Wiesel- I read this book for the first time in high school and have read it many times since. I cry every time.
5) Nectar in a Sieve- By Kamala Markandaya- I was assigned this book in a Humaniites course in college but dropped the class. So years later when I was moving I found the book and read it then. I wish I had read it sooner.
6) The Great Gatsby- By F. Scott Fitzgerald- This classic is a permanent fixture on my bookshelf. I have read it so many times it is scribbled all over and worn out. But I still love it.
7) The Wedding- By Nicholas Sparks- This book is the sequel to the bestseller The Notebook. I liked both books but I liked this one better. I loved this story and am glad that I took the time to read it.
8) At First Sight- By Nicholas Sparks- I have two Nicholas Sparks books on my list and I probably could have put more but I wanted to but a variety of different authors. This book is probably my second favorite book of his. It has a sequel, which I was less crazy about but this book shines alone also.
9) Dr. Dave- By- Clark S. Sturges- This book is about the Founder of the Haight- Ashbury Free Clinic in San Francisco. It is an great read and not one that a lot of people know about. This interesting story gives you a glimpse of an amazing city during a crazy time.
10) A Lesson Before Dying- By Earnest Gaines- I just read this book recently and really liked it because of the emotions it evoked. I think every student should read this book so we never forget what type of terrible injustice Americans are capable of.

And the Three Books I am reading:

1) Paris to the Moon by Adam Gopnik- The title of this book is what first grabbed me. Then as I was looking for another book I was reading a blog and they mentioned this book. So I looked it up and ordered it. It looks to be a good BART read. It came from Athena's list.

2)Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See- This book was recommended to me about a year ago and I never go around to reading it. I am looking forward to this read. This book came from 1 more chapter's list.

3) Big Stone Gap by Adriana Trigiani- This book was recommended to me years ago and I remembered that my friend had told me about this series of books she absolutely loved but I could not for the life of me remember the name of the books. Then when I saw the title on the list I KNEW it was the book she had told me about. So I am looking forward to reading the book that has eluded me until now. This book was on Page After Page's list.

I will review the books as I read them and keep updating on my progress. I hope to finish more than three books from the list but only time will tell.

It is all in the name

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.

William Shakespeare, "Romeo and Juliet"

So today I have turned over a new rock. I have changed the name of my blog. So let me explain how this all came about. When we got our first home computer way back in the stone age I signed up with Yahoo and I needed to come up with a user name for my new e-mail. Purple was my favorite color and I LOVED angels. So I tried PurpleAngel, but since I was not one of the pioneer users of the World Wide Web it was not available (Surprise). So I decided to go with PurplAngel. So it has followed me ever since...from my best memory it would be around 12 years. PurplAngel has been my online identity for a LONG time. I can't count the number of times that I have said "PurplAngel that is Purple Angel without the E in Purple" when giving out my e-mail address. So today when pondering my "online life" I decided that I really like blogging and I want my blog to have the same name that I have uses. I want people to know that it is me. So today this blog is being reborn. A new look and a new name...and hopefully there will be more content. I love to read and in going back and looking I have noticed that I have not talked about and of the books that I have read. So keep checking back...and let me know what you think.

And the Beat Goes On…

Okay, so my grandfather use to say “Don’t put the cart before the horse” and I use to think that it was funny when he would say it. I use to laugh because WHO would put the cart before the horse? I mean only an idiot would do something like that…right???

Well today I my friends have officially put the cart before the horse. I always right my blog posts first. Then, after reading them I try to come up with a clever and appropriate title. It was always the logical way for me to do it. I mean sometimes I would sit down at the computer and not even know what I was going to write about. Like so far for today’s post I would title it something like “Cart Before the Horse” or “Don’t put Your Cart First”. But I didn’t title it that I titled it “And the Beat Goes On…” and you may be asking why I would have done that and I will tell you I DON’T KNOW. I just really wanted to call it “And the Beat Goes On…” So now I need to figure out what to write about that goes with that title. Oh god the pressure!!!

Today is Monday and I feel like I was in Malibu about 2 months ago. My daily life and the things that come with it have effectively removed the relaxed feeling that I had when came back from my trip. A week ago today, as a matter of fact at almost exactly this time, I was getting in my rental car and driving from the Burbank Airport to Malibu. I feel like everything is going a little bit faster then it was when I left. Summer seemed so far away before my trip and now it is rapidly approaching (proof was in the temperature this weekend). My birthday is coming and with that my sisters will come (she is turning 21 this year). My Vegas trip will be at the end of July and as much as I want to go on it I don’t want it to fly by. So as my title states (which I picked before I decided to write about this), “And the Beat Goes On…Getting Quicker Everyday”

Have a Beautiful Day!!!

7 Years!!!!

Today is my husband and I's 7th Wedding Anniversary. 7 years ago today in a backyard in Clayton, CA we were married. There were only 12 people there and the ceremony only lasted 15 minutes but was a wonderful day. About a year and a half later we were married in the church in front of 150 people. I have to be honest I think I may have liked the first wedding better. Either way I have been married for 7 years. I wont lie and say they have all been perfect. Anyone who has been married knows there are ups and downs, but I know that he loves me and I love him. We have a wonderful son who we love and I can't imagine being raising him with anyone else. Happy Anniversary Baby...I love you and thank you for all that you have been to me!

Our Family Trip....

This picture was taken when we went to Disneyland in January. We had just arrived and went right into the park. My mother and husband and went to the restaurant to get us a table and my Son and I took this great picture and it turned out to be the best picture of the trip. Sadly this trip ended when I became sick but at this point all was well.This is a great picture of my husband and son. They both love race cars and were so excited to take this picture with McQueen.
This is a great picture of our WHOLE family. Don't we look happy! I love this picture and have gotten so many compliment on it.

...and life goes on!

My time here in Malibu has been wonderful. I have enjoyed my time here so much that if I did not miss my family so much I would hide away here longer.

I was just sitting with the Friars as they ate dinner (I am going out to dinner) and telling them about my blog. They were interested in the idea and wanted to know how it worked. I explained as best as I could. I hope that one who was particularly interested (and I found out later that he is writing a book) would try it himself. I find blogging to be a wonderful outlet and an amazing way to share my life with those who are interested. I also enjoy reading other peoples blogs and have found many that I read daily.

Okay now back to my trip to Malibu....I arrived here Monday afternoon and had a meeting from one to four. I was nervous about the meeting because I was giving the presentation by myself for the first time. But all of my nerves vanished as I drove throught the Malibu Canyon. WOW.....I know when you think of Malibu you think of beaches and the ocean but the Canyon is equally amazing. Maybe because I did not expect it. I felt a calm and was able to enjoy the rest of the drive. The meeting went well and there were no problems, so I found my room and exchanged my work clothes for jeans. I grabbed my camera and decided it was time to explore. One of the friars told me dinner was at 5:30 so I stayed close to the dinning room. But even with the short amount of time I had I was able to find some really amazing places. As you see in the pictures I posted yesterday it is beautiful here. I feel so safe and calm almost like I can see the world but I am in this little bubble that the outside world does not effect. I like it!!! I woke up this morning and went to mass with the friars. I had breakfast and then went back out to take more pictures. One of the friars here took me to the Las Angeles cathedral today. It is beautiful.....on the inside. I went through and saw all the art exhibits and read about the artist. I enjoyed going down to the crypt, where Gregory Peck (among others) is buried. After the cathedral we went to lunch at Pink's Hot Dogs. It has been in business since 1939 and has won many awards. My hot dog was good but I am not sure it was worth the 45 minute wait in-line. After lunch we came back and I rested and read my book for a while then got ready for dinner. Now I am sitting the the garden waiting for the two friars I am going to dinner with.

I know that tomorrow I must leave my little bubble and go back to the real world. I miss my son and I am sure that there is work to do on my desk. I am content today where I am and tomorrow I will go home....and life goes on.

Serra Retreat

These are some pictures from the retreat center in Malibu that I am staying at.
I hope to have more time to write later.
ENJOY!!!

A Prayer for the Dying

As I was sitting at my desk this morning there was a commotion by in the hall. When I looked up to see what was going on I saw the Vicar Provincial rushing out the front door because one of the friars at the care center up the road was dying. Now this is the 5th death in the last two weeks, so at this point one may be numb to it but I am not. To top it off this particular friar (who at the time of this post has not died yet) is special to us. He is the oldest living friar in our Province (A Province is a group of Friars in a particular area. Ours covers CA some of AZ, WA and OR) he is one month for his 100th birthday and just recently celebrated his 75th Anniversary as an ordained priest. So forgive me if I go all religious on you and write a prayer for Fr. Emmanuel.

Dear LORD
Please take Fr. Emmanuel into your loving embrace.
Help to heal his pain as he passes from our world to yours.
Please hold the friars who love Fr. Emmanuel in your arms and help them through this loss.
LORD I thank you for all that you do for the friars and I ask you to continue to shine your love and healing on them.
AMEN

A new career as a barber...

So when I was driving into work today I was trying to decide what I wanted to write about today. I was thinking about writing about April Fools day jokes that I had heard about or been a part of, but none of this gave me inspiration. Then an experience I had last night popped into my head. Last night I cut my son’s hair for the first time. That is not to say that my son’s hair had never been cut but I have never done it myself.

On the way home from work I looked at Ben in the rearview mirror in my car and realized that he really needed a haircut. Last summer we gave him a buzz cut cause he has such think hair and I don’t want to him to get to hot. So I decided cause it was getting that time again that we would buzz his hair. Then in my mind I was trying to decide when I had time to take him to the hair salon. It then occurred to me that I could cut his hair. I mean my stepmother use to cut my brother’s hair, how hard could it be. So when I got home I talked my husband in to going to the store with me, and buying a set of good clippers (which were on sale for $14, and that is a $1 more than a hair cut for little Ben). When we all got home little Ben made it clear that he did not trust me with the clippers but I bribed him with a brownie. So into the shower my son goes with only his underwear on. I put the #1 setting on the clippers and my husband freaks out telling me that will be way to short (this is my first time with clippers, how was I to know). So he tells me to start with 5 (way to long) I try the 4 still to long and finally we settle on 3. Then the fun begins after 20 minutes my son is done being patient my husband is trying to be a perfectionist around the ears and at the back of the neck. They are both yelling at each other and my son picks-up a big chunk of his hair and throw it at my husbands face. I dissolve in laughter and my son crawls into my lap, a safe haven from his father. Needless to say that was the end of the haircut. For the most part his hair looks good. Around the ears isn’t great but otherwise I feel good about it. And if I use the clippers one more time I will have saved money.

I want to cut my husbands hair but he won’t let me. I am thinking since he is such a heavy sleeper that if I get the clippers out while he is sleeping and do one buzz down the middle of his head then he will have to let me do his whole head. We’ll see….


Rest In Peace Fr. Lester Mitchell- You have served the Lord well, now it is your time to go home and rest. Smile down on you Brother Friars and know that you are loved by many.

Here Comes the Bride….

I have wedding fever. Granted I have been married for 7 years and can barely remember my weddings (I had a civil service and a catholic service). But it is that time of year when spring is coming and with it a bevy of new brides. I have two brides-to-be in my life. One is my cousin’s fiancée Amber; we love her and are so happy that John has found someone. They are having an intimate backyard wedding at her Aunt’s house. The other bride-to-be in my life is one of my best friends Wendy. She is getting married next April in what is sure to be one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever been to (no pressure Wendy). Wendy is an event planner for a non-profit and will be marrying Dan a wonderful guy. They are both very lucky. Wendy and Dan will be living in the Bay Area but will be married in her hometown in Ohio. The place she picked for the reception is beautiful and I can’t wait to help her in anyway she needs. So as I look forward to these two wonderful weddings I think back on the weddings I have been a part of including mine. Wow how the years fly by. The first wedding I remember was my Aunt Chriti and Uncle Mark’s. I was 6 and I was the flower girl. I got to wear a lavender taffeta dress and fell asleep during the ceremony. Thankfully so I have evolved and I am able to stay awake during the ceremonies now. Two years ago I was in my best friends wedding in Sacramento and that was fun cause I got to go up early and help with all the last minute details.

So to all of those out there who are planning a wedding just remember this it is the MARRIAGE that is most important not the wedding and your day is what you make of it.

Good luck to Amber and Wendy two of my favorite Brides.

M

Trying to keep up!

Okay so I have now written for two days in a row. I hope to be able to keep this up. It helps that I have been staying at my Mother's house and she has a new Mac laptop with wireless so no mater were I am or what I am doing I can log onto the computer and type. But I am making a resolution to start blogging everyday....or a least as much as possible.

So yesterday I had 3 friends over for lunch. One of them I had not seen in about 6 years. We are all married now and we all have a kid. Wow was it weird because the last time we were all together we were doing shot and partying. Now we are sitting around talking about discipline and breast feeding. My how things change.

So here is to change and the life lessons it brings!!!

Christine- I read your blog....keep your head up. You will find the perfect job. I will pray for you!

Rest In Peace...to those we love

Okay so I haven't written in a long time but tonight I am feeling a little blue and need to write through it.

It has been so long since I wrote anything. So much has happened.....

Christmas: BUSY
New Years: Nice and Quite!
January: Uh...well...

Okay so in the beginning of January I found out that I was pregnant (YEAH...) we were so happy. My doctor cautioned us not to tell anyone right away. When I had my son I told everyone immediately. So after a week we told really close friends and family, week two we told people at work (at this point I am 5 weeks preggers). Then we are getting ready to go on a family vacation to Disneyland. The day we left I posted it on MySpace that I was preggers (6 weeks). Went on vacation and had a good time. We were with some family friends and my son was really enjoying his time. While on vacation I started to show signs on of a miscarriage. One whole day in the hospital and they couldn't give me any answers. I took the rest of the vacation easy while my family tried to enjoy themselves. It wasn't easy on any of us. And sadly by the end of the trip the doctors told me I had lost the baby. Well to make a long story a little less of a long story I hadn't lost the baby but I did and due to complications had to have two surgeries. So when all was said and done I had lost my baby been out of work for 5 weeks and was just trying to recover mentally and physically. I lost a friend the week of easter and have had to deal with that. I flew to LA for the funeral and had a good cry (something I haven't done since the we lost the baby).

So I am dealing with things...I hope.