A Beautiful Weekend!!!

I have just gotten home from an AMAZING weekend with my Mother and Son! We spent this beautiful weekend in Monterey. I don't even know where to begin.... when we got to the place we were staying (this beautiful B&B) we were late so they left us a note and some keys. We went in and got unpacked and got comfortable in our beautiful room. The weekend just kept getting better. We had two days at the aquarium including a really cool behind the scenes tour. We had two delicious breakfasts at our B&B called the Jabberwok Inn. We had so much fun as a family. I really feel blessed. This weekend came just when I really needed it.

There was this weird feeling I kept having all day that I hadn't called someone important. I was stuck in the back of my head and then all of a sudden I pulled out my phone to call my grandmothers. Both have been gone for a while but it was this sadness that came over me when I realized that I couldn't talk to them. I miss you both so much and I am thankful for all of the time we had together.

I am looking ahead to a full next few weeks. The next big event is going to be the Confirmation of an amazing young man that I have sponsored. He really has become family to me and I am so proud of him. Every time we talk I see how much he has grown in Christ and I feel honored that he chose me to walk this path with him. I can't wait to see him fully initiated in the the Catholic church this Saturday. Keep him and I in your prayers.

Off to bed now. I have a presentation to give tomorrow at work and I don't want this vacation glow to end!

I will always come back to you!

Hello,
I feel bad that I have been away for so long. There are reasons why that I will share with you another time. But today I am here to share with you something amazing. I just had my son's pictures done by an amazing photographer, Rachel Capil. She was so good with Ben, my mother and me. She was able to get so many amazing pictures. So check out some of my favorite pictures. If you want to see some of her other work or you are interested in contacting her go to www.rachelcapil.com.

A Fun Day With the Kids

So I have been on Vacation for the last two weeks and to be honest I have really enjoyed both
vacations. I spent a week with my family down in Newport Beach and then I was home for 4 days and I left for Vegas for 5 days with the girls. I came home to absolute chaos, but things are calming down now. Last night we spent the night at the Raf/New house and then today we went to Nana Z's office picnic with everyone. Ben had a blast playing with his friends and getting his face painted. Now we are heading off to cheer on Team Believe at the Relay for Life in Martinez. My god mother is fighting ovarian cancer and our close friend Linda's brother in law is fight pancreatic cancer. I am going to ask that everyone pray for them and all the cancer fighter/survivors. It doesn't matter what higher power you believe in just offer up a pray this weekend. GO TEAM BELIEVE!!!!



Here are some pictures of the picnic today for your enjoyment!!!!!

Happy 4th Of July

Here are some photos of family and friends on the 4th of July!

A Time To Cry....

So in the last month death has been heavy on my mind. Our church community lost a wonderful man on father's day weekend. I cried all day Friday....for him, his family, his wife, his friends, and our whole community. Walt has been fighting cancer for the last 10 years and no one did it better than him. I planned the reception after the funeral so I didn't get to go as my husband and I were busy setting up for the 400 people that attended his funeral. I am saddened that I didn't get to go to the funeral but at the same time I went to the vigil the night before and that was hard for me. The hard part wasn't that I lost Walt cause I knew him and loved him and his wife but there were many more who would feel the loss more fully. The hard part for me was watching the grandkids. I was raised by my single mother with help from her parents. I was close to my mother and my grandmother but I was closest to my grandfather. He died the day after my 22nd birthday. For those of you who know me you know what a difficult time for me that was. I was 22 and I was without the man who raised me. The person that I depended on most in my life. He had seen me through so much but yet I still needed him to see me through more. I looked at Walt's grandkids and non of them were older the 10 and all I could think of is that they would miss out on one of the best relationships in the world. Now I know that my relationship with my grandpa was different than most but I also know that Walt was one of the best. Losing Walt was hardest for me because I went through some of the grief of losing my Grandpa again. I miss him so much that even after all these years....7 to be exact...I still think of him everyday. I still pick-up the phone to call him anytime I am big. I keep his picture in my wallet and my office and tell everyone that see them what a wonderful man he was. I cry for him a lot. I sometimes feel lost and abandoned when things are going wrong cause I can't talk to him or have him hug me. Recently I lost a pregnancy and all I wanted to do was go to his house and hide from the world while he took care of me. I wanted him to tell me it would be alright. But he is gone and I won't hear his voice to calm me or give me advice. Losing a parent is hard. I always thought I was lucky...I had my Mother and my grandparents. That was like having three parents and the three of them are the reason I am the person I am today...both the good and the bad. The downside to having three parents (two of which are your grandparents) is that it is a loss that you feel sooner than most and 3 times. I lost my grandmother at the age of 18. I was prepared as we knew she was sick but it hurt and I felt a pain that was heartbreaking and only helped by my mother and grandpa. When he was gone it was sudden and I literally felt like my world was caving in and I didn't know what to do. I wanted my grandma and grandpa but they had left me. My mother and I are closer than most. My fear is that once she is gone I will have a hole inside of me that will never heal. I pray that day never comes.

I hope that all the people in my life know how much I love them and I fear that they don't. But I just keep trying to show them. My grandparents showed me everyday how much they loved me and they keep showing me. When my son wants to cuddle or gives me a big hug for reason I know that they love inside of him was put there because my grandparents William and June loved their family and the love continues on long after they do.

I LOVE YOU GRANDMA AND GRANDPA!

7 Years!!!!

Today is my husband and I's 7th Wedding Anniversary. 7 years ago today in a backyard in Clayton, CA we were married. There were only 12 people there and the ceremony only lasted 15 minutes but was a wonderful day. About a year and a half later we were married in the church in front of 150 people. I have to be honest I think I may have liked the first wedding better. Either way I have been married for 7 years. I wont lie and say they have all been perfect. Anyone who has been married knows there are ups and downs, but I know that he loves me and I love him. We have a wonderful son who we love and I can't imagine being raising him with anyone else. Happy Anniversary Baby...I love you and thank you for all that you have been to me!

Our Family Trip....

This picture was taken when we went to Disneyland in January. We had just arrived and went right into the park. My mother and husband and went to the restaurant to get us a table and my Son and I took this great picture and it turned out to be the best picture of the trip. Sadly this trip ended when I became sick but at this point all was well.This is a great picture of my husband and son. They both love race cars and were so excited to take this picture with McQueen.
This is a great picture of our WHOLE family. Don't we look happy! I love this picture and have gotten so many compliment on it.

Rest In Peace...to those we love

Okay so I haven't written in a long time but tonight I am feeling a little blue and need to write through it.

It has been so long since I wrote anything. So much has happened.....

Christmas: BUSY
New Years: Nice and Quite!
January: Uh...well...

Okay so in the beginning of January I found out that I was pregnant (YEAH...) we were so happy. My doctor cautioned us not to tell anyone right away. When I had my son I told everyone immediately. So after a week we told really close friends and family, week two we told people at work (at this point I am 5 weeks preggers). Then we are getting ready to go on a family vacation to Disneyland. The day we left I posted it on MySpace that I was preggers (6 weeks). Went on vacation and had a good time. We were with some family friends and my son was really enjoying his time. While on vacation I started to show signs on of a miscarriage. One whole day in the hospital and they couldn't give me any answers. I took the rest of the vacation easy while my family tried to enjoy themselves. It wasn't easy on any of us. And sadly by the end of the trip the doctors told me I had lost the baby. Well to make a long story a little less of a long story I hadn't lost the baby but I did and due to complications had to have two surgeries. So when all was said and done I had lost my baby been out of work for 5 weeks and was just trying to recover mentally and physically. I lost a friend the week of easter and have had to deal with that. I flew to LA for the funeral and had a good cry (something I haven't done since the we lost the baby).

So I am dealing with things...I hope.